Chapter Notes

Understanding THE SELF: What makes me 'I'

Each of us is a unique person, different from everyone else. This sense of being unique gives us our self—the feeling of 'I' that is separate from 'you' or 'them'. The idea of self is closely related to identity and personality, and we often use these terms interchangeably. This chapter explores what the self is, how it develops, and what influences it, especially during adolescence.

What IS Self?

The self refers to the totality of a person's experiences, ideas, thoughts, and feelings about themselves. It is our sense of who we are and what makes us different from others. During adolescence, we begin to think more deeply about the question, "Who am I?"

The self has several dimensions, which can be broadly divided into two categories:

• Personal Self: These are aspects that relate only to you as an individual, such as your private feelings, thoughts, and personal beliefs.
• Social Self: This refers to the aspects of yourself that are connected to others. It includes roles you play (like a son, daughter, or student) and qualities like sharing, cooperation, and support.

Two important elements of our identity are self-concept and self-esteem.

• Self-concept is the description you have of yourself. It answers the question, "Who am I?" and includes your qualities, feelings, thoughts, and abilities.
• Self-esteem is your judgment or evaluation of yourself. It is based on the standards you set for yourself, which are often influenced by society.

What IS Identity?

While your body, thoughts, and relationships change over time, you still have a sense of being the same person throughout your life. This feeling of continuity and sameness is your identity. It's the sense of who you are that you carry with you.

Like the self, identity also has personal and social dimensions:

• Personal identity refers to the attributes that make you different from other people.
• Social identity links you to a group—professional, social, or cultural. For example, identifying as an Indian, a Gujarati, a student, or a farmer are all aspects of social identity.

Development and Characteristics OF THE SELF

We are not born with a sense of self; we create and develop it as we grow. The way we understand ourselves changes significantly through different stages of life.

Self DURING INFANCY

At birth, an infant is not aware of their own unique existence. They do not realize they are separate from the world around them.

• This means an infant has no self-awareness or self-recognition. They might look at their own hand without realizing it belongs to them.
• The sense of self emerges gradually. Around 18 months of age, self-image recognition begins.

• In the second year, infants start using personal pronouns like "I," "me," and "mine" to claim objects ("my toy") or describe their actions ("me eating"). They also begin to recognize themselves in photos.

Self during Early CHILDHOOD

By age three, children can talk fluently, so we can learn about their self-understanding through conversation. Their self-perception has five main characteristics:

1. Physical and Material Descriptions: They describe themselves using physical traits ("I am tall"), clothes they wear, or toys they own. Their descriptions are in absolute terms (e.g., "I am tall") rather than comparative terms ("I am taller than Kiran").
2. Active Descriptions: They define themselves by what they can do, such as "I can ride a cycle" or "I can count."
3. Concrete Descriptions: Their self-understanding is based on things that are visible or that they can do, like "I have a television."
4. Overestimation: Young children often overestimate their abilities, saying things like "I am never scared" or "I know all the poems."
5. Lack of Nuance: They cannot recognize that they can have different attributes at different times, like being both 'good' and 'bad'.

Self during Middle Childhood

During this stage, a child's self-evaluation becomes more complex and realistic. There are five key changes:

1. Internal Characteristics: Children shift from physical descriptions to psychological ones. They might describe themselves using personality traits, like "I am good at making friends."
2. Social Descriptions: They begin to define themselves in terms of the groups they belong to, such as "I am in the music choir in school."
3. Social Comparisons: They start comparing themselves to others. Instead of saying "I can run fast," they might say, "I can run faster than Kiran."
4. Real vs. Ideal Self: They can now distinguish between their real self (their actual abilities) and their ideal self (the person they want to be).
5. More Realistic: Self-descriptions become more accurate, partly because they can now see things from others' points of view.

Self during Adolescence

Self-understanding becomes even more complex during adolescence, which is considered a critical time for identity development.

Why is adolescence a critical time for identity development?

According to psychologist Erik H. Erikson, the main task of adolescence is to develop a sense of identity. This period is critical for three main reasons:

1. Intense Self-Focus: Adolescents are more preoccupied with understanding themselves than at any other previous stage.
2. Lasting Sense of Self: By the end of adolescence, individuals typically form a relatively stable sense of who they are.
3. Rapid Changes: Identity is heavily influenced by rapid biological changes (puberty) and new social demands (behaving like an adult).

Adolescents often face an identity crisis because of conflicting feelings and expectations. They may want independence but also seek comfort like a child. Parents might tell them to "behave like a grown-up" but still treat them as if they are not. This can lead to role confusion, where an adolescent struggles to integrate their newly emerging selves. This might show up as an inability to concentrate or difficulty coping with schedules.

Characteristics of an adolescent's sense of self

1. Abstract Descriptions: Adolescents describe themselves using abstract, inner qualities like "sensitive," "brave," or "emotional," rather than physical traits.
2. Contradictions: The self often contains contradictions. An adolescent might say, "I am calm but get easily disturbed."
3. Fluctuating Self: Their sense of self can change depending on the situation and over time as they have new experiences.
4. Ideal vs. Real Self: The ideal self (who they want to be) becomes more prominent, and they are aware of the gap between it and their real self.
5. Self-Consciousness: Adolescents are highly preoccupied with themselves, leading to a feeling of "being on stage" where they believe everyone is noticing them. This often results in a strong concern about physical appearance.

Influences on IDENTITY: How do we Develop A Sense of Self?

We are not born with an identity; we "construct" it through our experiences and interactions. This is a continuous, dynamic process shaped by multiple people and factors throughout our lives.

Developing a sense of self and identity

From our earliest years, interactions help build our sense of self.

• Parents use our name, point us out in mirrors, and use pronouns like 'me' and 'mine', helping us learn we are distinct individuals.
• As infants, we realize our actions affect the environment (e.g., touching a toy makes it move), reinforcing our sense of being separate.
• As we grow, caregivers ask questions like "Why did you do this?" which helps us understand our feelings and actions, further defining our self.
• Feedback from others about our behavior and abilities also shapes our beliefs about ourselves.

Our unique identity is a result of:

• A unique combination of genes (except for identical twins).
• Different life experiences.
• Different ways of responding to similar experiences.

The major influences on identity formation can be classified into four areas:

• Biological and physical changes
• Socio-cultural contexts
• Emotional changes
• Cognitive changes

BIOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL CHANGES

Adolescence is marked by universal physical changes that lead to sexual maturity.

• Puberty is the time when sexual maturity is reached. For girls, menarche (first menstruation) is a key marker. For boys, a common criterion is the production of spermatozoa.
• Pubescence is the period of rapid physical and biological changes leading up to puberty. This typically occurs between ages 11-13 for girls and 13-15 for boys.

Normal Sequence of Development during Pubescence:

• Girls: Initial breast enlargement, growth of pubic and axillary (underarm) hair, age of maximum growth, and menarche.
• Boys: Growth of testes, growth of pubic and axillary hair, voice changes, first ejaculation, age of maximum growth, and development of a beard.

Socio-Cultural Contexts

Physical changes and social expectations are the main drivers of identity formation, but their impact depends on the cultural, social, and family environment.

• Cultural Influence: In traditional Indian society, puberty often brings more restrictions for girls, while boys retain more freedom. In contrast, Western cultures emphasize independence and moving away from the family, while Indian culture often focuses on interdependence within the family.
• Community Influence: In traditional communities with limited occupational choices, adolescents are often trained in family occupations and assume adult roles (work, marriage) earlier. This can lead to less conflict and confusion in forming an identity. In societies with many choices, adolescence is often extended for training, which can lead to more conflict with parents.
• Cultural Expression of Self: In many Indian communities, people often define themselves through their roles (son, daughter) and speak in terms of "we" (the family or community) rather than "I." This contrasts with Western cultures, where individual self-reflection is more common.
• Family and Peer Influence:
  • A supportive family that encourages adolescents to have their own point of view provides a secure base for exploring the world. Firm and affectionate parenting fosters independence and a healthy identity.
  • A family atmosphere promoting both Individuality (having one's own views) and Connectedness (respecting others' views) is ideal.
  • Peers become very important for support and acceptance. Peer pressure can be positive or negative. Sometimes, peer values conflict with parental values, causing disharmony.

Emotional Changes

Adolescence is a time of significant emotional shifts, many of which are linked to biological changes.

• Body Image: Adolescents are often preoccupied with their physical bodies and imagine others are constantly noticing them. Dissatisfaction with one's appearance can lower self-esteem and affect performance in school. A positive body image, however, contributes to a healthy sense of self.
• Mood Swings: It's common for adolescents to experience mood swings, such as wanting company one moment and wanting to be alone the next. Sharp bursts of anger can also occur as they try to make sense of the many changes they are experiencing.

Cognitive Changes

Changes in thinking abilities have a major impact on identity development.

• Shift to Abstract Thinking: Unlike children who think in concrete terms, adolescents can think abstractly. They can think beyond what is immediately present and visible.
• Hypothetical Thinking: They can imagine various possibilities and their outcomes without having to experience them directly.